Realization!

Ok, I’ve had a realization about grad school. Simply put, all my previous “realizations” about grad school were a bit wrong headed. In other words, I keep thinking that I’ve got it figured out… and it just doesn’t work that way. Honestly, grad school would be a bit of a joke if I had it all figured out by week 5 anyway. So now I’m faced with the task of accepting that I probably will feel just a bit out of control and off kilter for much of the next few years.

So, why does this matter? Well, I’ve been thinking about this because the first few weeks were quite stressful for me, and I wondered whether I’d be able to keep up. But now, I think I’ve started to find a bit of a grad school “groove” for the last week, and to be perfectly honest, it feels good to have a groove. While I’m still riding that high, I know it can’t last. One reason for that is that I’ve (semi-officially) joined a research group and I’ll have to re-adjust my life a little bit more now to accommodate doing research on top of everything else. Another great reason to eschew the groove is that believe I learn more when I’m under pressure, sleepless, and a tiny bit manic.

So here’s to uncertainty, to coffee, to a hunger for knowledge and to staying on your toes. Well… and also to shirking your responsibilities at the worst possible times.

Additional news: I’ve recovered my car from Modesto and its in great shape now, greatly relieving significant stress in my life.

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